We were up at 4am to get on with our 7 hour boat ride along the Ton Le Sap river and lake.   It was nitheringly chilly and pitch dark at the outset, but we saw the sunrise and an array of floating villages before we docked and found conditions to be searingly hot on arrival.

We had a relatively soft finish, with good roads and a short ride by our now hardy standards, clocking in just north of 50k.

After touring the complex, we arrived at the Angkor Wat itself, to find ourselves treated to a welcome party of school children!  We had made it!  It has to be said, that finishing the ride at one of the eight wonders of the ancient world is quite cool.

Apparently another temple within the complex featured in the Tomb Raider movie and game.  Having never seen or played either, pleasingly this didn’t colour my experience at all.  Up yours popular culture.

So, basically, WE DID IT!  So, I guess that a bloody great “hurrah, with highly polished brass knobs on!”

I am predictably, tired, bruised, grazed, punctured, aching and sore.  I’m looking forward to returning to a life outside of lycra.  But despite all of that, I’m glad to have done it.

To all who sponsored me, thank you.  To those who haven’t but still will, thank you in advance! http://www.justgiving.com/cambodiaschoolbuildingproject

To those who supported me through training and messages this week, thank you, I couldn’t have done it without you.

To my fellow bikers, thank you for your tolerance.

To the doubters and haters – where the hell were you?  What am I supposed to rage against if you’re all so bloody supportive?!

Now to Kampong Cham for two weeks of teaching at the English Language Bootcamp.

Stats:

Blood spill: ZERO

Fall count: ZERO (you can see how I improved over the week!)

Hello, hello’s:  Increased to excitable cheers, balloons and gifts of children’s drawings on arrival!

• I finally got sun burnt today.
• I dropped my bike on Johnny’s already damaged family jewels, right before we set off this morning.  Sorry about that.
• I sort of feel I should point out that they do have real roads over here (in at least some of the places) – it’s just that we can’t go on them.  The highways aren’t a good place for a team of cyclists, regardless of how good their matching kit looks.  The overturned lorry we saw on the way to the start point this morning underlined this again.
• Bamboo train part 2:  We got on one at the second attempt.  It’s a bamboo platform big enough for 5 people to sit, placed on some rollercoaster style wheels, on a track where not one of the sections properly aligns properly, being powered by a two stroke engine with the throttle mechanism quite simply involving the driver pulling the engine back to increase the tension on the drive belt.  Brilliant!  Built by the French colonials, the Bamboo Train is about to be decommissioned, so we’re among the last to ride it.  I’m glad we did.
• A quick note about money.  It’s a dual currency system over here.  US Dollars and Cambodian Riels – no coins at all.
• An overdue shout out – To Mr John Mills.  To be frank, John’s made a right example of himself this trip.  He’s travelling through what has to a man of simple tastes, at times proven hostile culinary territory.  As the only person on the trip to have past 20 whilst I was being born, whilst having also misplaced anything resembling regular physical exercise somewhere in a smoke filled back room of a South London boozer before Thatcher was ousted, he’s quietly fighting a mind over matter battle each day that puts my whinging to shame.  It’s fair to say that if there was a Yellow Jersey on this trip, John probably wouldn’t be being measured up for it, but there isn’t one anyway as that’s not what it’s about.  John has been the embodiment of a tenacious spirit.  What’s more,  in a glorious ‘up yours’ to us whipper snappers in support bandages and elastoplasts, he’s not picked up more than a slight graze the whole time.  John Mills, I salute you.

Stats:

Blood spill: ZERO

Fall count: ZERO

Hello, hello’s:  Back at a dull roar.

I hear it’s pretty chilly, chilly in Britain right now – which means another instalment of Tales From a Hot Place must be just what you want to reading after a morning sliding around on black ice, trudging through sludge and generally wishing you’d put on more layers.  Still, here’s another heart rending tale of how hot it is here, to you in cold snap Britain…

Today was a good ride.  Great scenery, historical significance and a reasonably good road surface – for the most part.  We managed a stonking 85km, with only the final 20km being arm shatteringly awful, as well as being into a head wind!

We started off and after a stretch along the lesser spotted road surface ‘tarmac’ we turned off to the spend nearly the rest of the day on the track running alongside a canal.  In many respects it was like other canals, an impressive feat of engineering  with water locks and a seemingly endless stretch into the distance.  By way of a frame of reference I’d say this was, in terms of scale, less impressive than the Suez Canal, whilst being dotted by significantly fewer pubs than the Grand Union Canal – although with lots more rice than either.  The canal quietly carried with it the echoes of Cambodia’s quite incredibly recent past, as it was constructed entirely by hand, in 1976, or Year 1 as it would have been under Cambodia’s regime at the time, the Khmer Rouge.  A further reminder came in the form a more recent government sign, notifying us with little fanfare that this former mine field has now been cleared.  Although god to know, it’s a sobering thought to know that between the mines, the forced labour of an entire population, the purges, the malnutrition… that conservative estimates put the death toll presided over by the Khmer Rouge administration at 1 million, in the just under 3 years and 9 months they were in power.

The route along the canal offered the greenest slice of Cambodia we’ve seen so far.  Lined on either side with paddy fields, the water from the canal is pumped up and over the walls by the farmers to create a positively verdant surrounding.  Combine that with today’s clear blue skies and you’ve got some eye candy in today’s photos.

Other stuff:

Bug Catchers lined sections of the canal.  Yep, Bug Catchers.  Not people, simple but clever little setups involving a fluorescent strip light, two small steaks and a plastic bag with some water in.  The bug fly for the light, hit the back of the bag and fall into the water.  The water stop them from flying, so then he bug harvester (?) can come along, collect up the tasty ones and sauté them lightly wit a chilli jus.

My left knee now has a new best friend.  He’s a support bandage.  He’s called Steve.  With Steve’s help I was able to participate in a small and impromptu break-away group with Mattius and Jonny this afternoon.  Enjoyably silly and adrenalin inducing to be going so quick on these roads.  So much so that as the video  clip shows, I nearly fell off when stopped (again).  Thanks Steve, I couldn’t have done it without you.

Finger numbness has broken out among the group.  A little disconcerting, with the universally affected finger being the ring finger.  We’re  guessing the vibrations, but suggestions on a postcard to the usual address.

We arrived today in fabulous style, riding directly to the hotel through the market and in through the front door.  Taking into account that today we’re in the smallest, least touristy town on the trip, this was met with gratifyingly little consternation or excitement.  Clearly it was just another one of those things.

Quick shout out to: Frederick – out rider and documenter!  All those fabulous photos and video clips aren’t just happening, they’re being shot and painstakingly edited and uploaded on less than reliable wifi nightly by very own 5^th Beatle.  Whilst out and about he also keep us on the right track (mostly) shooting ahead on the motorbike to act as a human signpost.  Thanks Fredrick!

‘Hello hellos’ took something of a dip today, with a grand total being estimated at 17.  Yeah, 17.  It was sort of quiet out.

Weather:  Sorchio

Falls: Zero (but only just) and, for the first time I have been surpassed!  Mattius, my comrade in collapsing has taken the lead on the board!

Blood spilt: None.  Sorry.

And finally… You’ve obviously all been wondering so here it is, the update on my tan:  It’s ridiculous.  It starts and stops on my thighs with a crispness only lycra can command.  Save one calve, it not on the back of my legs at all.  My sock and glove marks will take years to disappear and my fore arms are actually striped due to my watch and Team B4C bracelet.

Today starts with a belated dedication to Jonny ‘Boom’ Vantinel-Holmes, without whom my path through yesterday’s low point would have been a darker place.  Following from my own efforts with Jonny the previous day, a rousing return to mis-placed Christmas songs raised a smile for the first time in some kilometres – thank you Jonny!

So, today we visited a school which was full of smiley happy kids who were suitably excited to not have to be in their lesson for a little while as the circus had arrived in town.  John and Ola delighted with magic tricks, I managed a highly suspect couple of songs on a guitar missing its G-String and we all excited generally by being tall, pastey and full of smiles.

After the school we were due to catch the Bamboo Train to our next hotel, but after waiting for some time, we were informed that “this line is closed for planned engineering works” or words to that effect.  Back on the bikes we got, ten we got lost, then un-lost, then lost again, then arrived.

What else happened?

Stretching has become a new and meaningful part of my life.  Never before has my body known such effort being made to achieve so little – but that little is proving so important!   My knee is making gradual progress back toward not minding being a knee after all.

Patches of sand made their first serious inclusion on the route today.  That was annoying.

Wildlife:  To date we’ve seen normal farm fayre – pigs, chickens, ducks, geese, cows.  Domestic – dogs, cats.  Various birds that I can’t identify and…  Exotic – 2 snakes (One reminding me that I should look where I tread when going to the ‘Happy Tree’ and one reminding other snakes that even they can become road kill), one serious looking spider, water buffalo, and a collection of hard and soft shelled bugs, including the biggest and alarmingly quick cockroaches I’ve ever had to deal with before.  All of which is lovely.

Johnny and Ange caved spectacularly in the singing stakes leading to what must have been one of the most formidable accappela singing trios to have appeared on bicycles in Cambodia today.

Weather:  Sorchio

Falls: Zero

Blood spilt: None (new)

Hello, hellos! :  Holding steady

Resentment for generally existing:  Reducing

Glossary:  A “Happy Tree” is where you go to the toilet.  Yes, Happy Trees are unisex facilities.

Today stared well as we had some bananas to go with breakfast.  That may well have been the high point, as today was the day that my left knee woke up and realised what I’ve been up to for the last couple of days.  In response it embarked upon a steady protest of declining function to the low point at which I could start indulging dramatic fantasies of never walking without a stick again (there’s quite a lot of time for your mind to wander when on a bike).  I’d like to attribute this to an old recurrent injury from my rugby days, or that stint I did with the Teritorial Army – but we all know I can’t.  This niggling ache, that grew to become my not being able to put any weight on my left leg is very simply due to my not being very fit, not knowing anything significant about serious stretching requirements and basically, not being very smart.  If I was, I’d have just sponsored one of the other participants and felt a warm glow about having done my bit.  As it turns out, things are rarely as dramatic as I like to believe and so, having undergone some intensive stretching at every available stop point, I got to the end of today’s 75ish kilometres and can walk without an aid.  Other than scuppering my plans for a re-enactment of the death scene from La Traviata, this seems like a good result.

So what else?

• Cows.  We’ve had cows from the start, but not like this.  At one time were weaving through a heard of them being taken down the road.  That brings your focus back.  There’s a video clip of this on the Bike 4 Cambodia Facebook page.
• The “Hello, hello’s” were less intense today, but still on a rolling boil with another 1 or 2% of the population having now received the official greeting.
• We generally kept a good pace and had relatively good roads, which was a mercy with my knee as it was, but what about the rest of it?  The mud!  The last few days have seen me accumulate muck in greater quantities than Glastonbury 2007.
• EVERYTHING aches.  Hands, wrists, arms, shoulders, back, thighs, calves and yes, you were all right, arse.  I can only imagine what condition I would be in had a lesser pair of shorts been purchased.
• The knee thing has led to a couple of hairy moments related to unclipping my shoes again, with one slow motion fall as I failed to kick free by being too tentative in an effort to not pull my knee further.  This obviously backfired as hitting the ground wasn’t a massive help in limb protection.  On the plus side the couple of rugged, action hero type grazes I sustained as a result meant I got to try out the benefits of Iodine solution on an open wound, courtesy of our resident Cambodian doctor.
• Blood spill: 2
• Sweat: A baking hot day.  Clear skies gave full reign to a searing sun throughout.
• Tears: See future blog posts.
• Fall count: 1
• Days without a cup of tea:  4.  I’m not being difficult, it doesn’t have to be Twinings.  (Admittedly the coffee here is pretty great.)
• Funometer:  Low.  Next time Ola has a smart idea to help people less fortunate than ourselves, he can damned well keep it to himself.

It was my turn for the end of day motivational speech, check out the video here: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200292568778154

Ps.  For all that can remember as far back as pre-cycling my finger that got ‘shanked’ in Hackney is healing well.

Note:  I’m not putting in much in these blogs about where we’ve been etc, as it’s well covered in the other blogs and the number of people for whom it would be of interest are quite limited.  To be totally honest, I rarely know where I am much of the time at the moment!

Thanks to latest round of donors!  Please spread the word and if you haven’t but intend to donate, do it now if you can!  The more we raise the more chance I have of coming to terms with my continued existence.  If this goes much further I’ll feel like Jeff Goldblum at the end the The Fly.

http://www.justgiving.com/cambodiaschoolbuildingproject/

Another early start (they’re all early starts) saw us on the street eating a luxury breakfast of fresh baguette (dry) and musli by 6am.  The baguette is a rather wonderful hangover from Cambodia’s period as a French Protectorate and as such is pretty damned good fresh from the market at that time of the morning.  The musli is a result of having Ola as our leader.  The musli was however lacking its addition of fresh banana, as perplexingly, despite having checked the entire market, there were none to be had anywhere – “oh yes sir, we have no bananas…” etc.  Have you ever walked the length and breadth of a Cambodian street market wearing lycra?  You get some looks, I can tell you.

So, to the cycling:

• Today’s route was the sort of mix that only the asymmetrical reasoning of Ola Nilsson could manage.  An average start of real roads, transformed into the most fabulous stretch so far – kilometre after kilometre of a partially constructed road.  20 meters across, flat, stable underfoot (wheel), and virtually ours for the stretch.  You see, Ola giveth.  Then, after lunch, 25+ kilometres of sort of off roading that a Land Rover would, well, actually take in its stride, but as you know, I’m on a bike.  Ola taketh away.  To be totally honest there were moments where it was a little bit fun, but my hands, wrists and forearms are now ruined.
• I totally forgot to mention a major part of the trip so far, the “Hello, hello!”.  Children run from their homes, adults become excitedly inquisitive, adolescent girls burst into fits of giggles and young men (the same the word over) are sullen and try to play it cool.  The “Hello, hello!” is literally what we say to all and have shouted back to us.  On some stretches the domino effect of the kids in each house hearing the one before and running out to see 8 northern European fools in matching bike gear can result in kilometres of concurrent greetings and waving (not always so easy on some of these roads). Yesterday was particularly intense, but today kept a good rate – at a guess, I’d imagine we’ve said “Hello, hello!” to maybe about 332,476 people so far, at a guess.
• Today also appeared to be a confirmation that the Singing Cyclist, is an actual entity.  Yesterday saw its birth.  It was a painful labour, involving the butchering of everything and anything I could remember at least two lines to, in an effort to distract myself from the pain growing in my legs.  Today saw an early return well ahead of when the true brutality the day had kicked in.  I’m hoping to find all participants breaking point – today John caved with Bring Me Sunshine (I regret I couldn’t reach him for a double hand slap).  Showtunes are admittedly not proving a huge hit to date.  (Dad, the famous Green Book has had a good shout for obscure folk infused numbers, eg. Last Train and Gone).
• We had some rain today!  But only a little.  Generally it was excellent biking weather, remaining overcast.  This was most probably because I’d been banned form singing Here Comes the Sun.
• By the way of a quick insight into the group psyche, a strong contender for the random moto of the trip is: “It’s not long, but it’s thin”.
• Today’s fall count:  Zero

• Today’s pain level:  High (stated in the knowledge that I may have anew frame of reference by the end of the week).

• Today’s fatigue level:  Irritable to grumpy.

Thanks for all the messages of support and donate if you can:

http://www.justgiving.com/cambodiaschoolbuildingproject?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socspon&utm_content=cambodiaschoolbuildingproject&utm_campaign=post-sponsor-facebook

Ps. We also visited an orphanage this afternoon.  In the fear that all my whinging was damaging the credibility of our bleeding hearts, we set off to visit Cambodia’s only orphanage for children with HIV (a significant problem here).  The work of this NGO is remarkable, inspirational and above all else, effective.  Although only founded in 2006, they’ve saved the lives of hundreds of children, created a fantastic living environment and attracted the attention of some big donators in the process.

Find out more about them here:  http://www.newhopeforcambodianchildren.com/

So, following that inauspicious start, here’s the round up of what happened next:

• For a first day we really took mission by its foolishness, starting with our longest ride of the trip, totalling over 90km.
• The route was a mix of regular roads, part constructed roads, dirt tracks and just dirt that aspires to be the dirt track it once was, before it became simply part of a succession of pot holes and rocks.
• For the first 6km this morning we were adopted by a beach dog.  Which gave some early entertainment value as he fended off a pack of other strays and a troop of monkeys for us.
• We had some welcome cloud cover for the early morning, but by mid-morning I was singing Here Comes the Sun and regretting it for the rest of the day.
• We by a number of crops and plantations, providing some welcome scenery and my first glimpse of how pepper corns are grown.  Cambodia is famed for its pepper, so it seems.
• Bananas are a revelation.  Who knew they could taste like this?  ‘This’ in fact being confusingly like an apple, but they are fantastic all the same.
• This evening we saw a wedding taking over a street and funeral over the paddy field from where we having dinner, which, following a small light show, involved the pyre being light with… fireworks.  Brilliant.

For my sadistic supporters:

By my reckoning, the furthest I’ve ever rode is approximately 20km.  Today we did 90km.

(I started writing a smart description of how my body feels this evening, but actually, that top line and your imagination is much more effective.)

Thanks to all that supported.  For anyone who hasn’t but would like to, you’re absolutely not too late!